The views expressed herein are mine only, and are not necessarily those of this domain, net or any organization.

I do not advocate the initiation of force or any illegal act; any statement to the contrary notwhithstaning is made purely for discussion purposes.

Any statement accompanied by a "<G>" or "<g>" is intended as humor and should be construed as such.

Reading any material I've written by persons under the age of 21 is expressly forbidden.

Reading any material written by me by persons who are humor impaired, under the care of a mental health professional, or who should be is expressly forbidden.

I expressly disclaim any liability for the information contained in anything I've written and will under no circumstances be responsible for any action by another as a result of reading this.

Kids, we are professionals, do not try this at home.  Wear hearing and eye protection.  Your mileage may vary.  Time is of the essence.  All disagreements will be adjudicated in a  court of record located in the nation of The Turks and Caicos Islands, which laws will apply.

Nothing contained herein is intended to act as legal or other advice.  Please consult a professional for specific advice for your situation.  I am not a member of any Thieves' Guild or any other professional association; I am qualified to hold opinions (aren't we all), but I am not qualified to serve up professional advice.  This is not professional advice and I haven't been paid for this. All articles herein are based on opinions that I hold, and are not to be considered an offer or enticement to buy, sell, trade, or actually do anything whatsoever.  Any entities mentioned in any articles herein are not endorsed by me, they are mentioned to serve as an example or illustration of my opinion.

The following list of disclaimers is stolen. I forgot from whom, what, where, or when. And if asked I will deny having done so unless I'm under oath.  Possibly even then...But here they are, intended to cover any issues not already mentioned above.

Action figures sold separately. Add toner, sold separately. All models over 18 years of age. All rights reserved. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. An equal opportunity employer. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Apply only to affected area. Approved for veterans. As seen on TV. At participating locations only. Avoid contact with mucous membranes. Avoid contact with skin. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Batteries not included. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Beware of dog. Booths for two or more. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. Call toll free number before digging. Caveat emptor. Check here if tax deductible. Close cover before striking Colors may fade. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Contents may settle during shipment. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. Do not place near flammable or magnetic source. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Do not write below this line. Documents are provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied. Don't quote me on anything. Don't quote me on that. Driver does not carry cash. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Employees and their families are not eligible. Falling rock. Felix Gonzalez is exempt, due to his Latino Studmuffin status. First pull up, then pull down. Flames redirected to /dev/null. For a limited time only. For external use only. For off-road use only. For office use only. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use. If condition persists, consult your physician. If defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a doctor. Keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes. Keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children. Keep cool; process promptly. Limit one-per-family please. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. List at least two alternate dates. List each check separately by bank number. List was current at time of printing. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. May be too intense for some viewers. Must be 18 to enter. No Canadian coins. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. No animals were harmed in the production of these documents. No money down. No other warranty expressed or implied. No passes accepted for this engagement. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. No preservatives added. No purchase necessary. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavor added. No shoes, no shirt, no service, no kidding. No solicitors. No substitutions allowed. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. No user-serviceable parts inside. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Not liable for damages due to use or misuse. Not recommended for children. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Not the Beatles. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Other copyright laws for specific entries apply wherever noted. Other restrictions may apply. Package sold by weight, not volume. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Penalty for private use. Place stamp here. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Post office will not deliver without postage. Postage will be paid by addressee. Prerecorded for this time zone. Price does not include taxes. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Quantities are limited while supplies last. Read at your own risk. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Replace with same type. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Restaurant package, not for resale. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Ribbed for your pleasure. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sanitized for your protection. Sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken. See label for sequence. Shading within a garment may occur. Sign here without admitting guilt. Simulated picture. Slightly enlarged to show detail. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Slippery when wet. Smoking these may be hazardous to your health. Some assembly required. Some equipment shown is optional. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Subject to FCC approval. Subject to change without notice. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Text used in these documents is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh. These documents do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my rabbit. This is not an offer to sellsecurities. This offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Times approximate. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Use only as directed. Use only in a well-ventilated are. User assumes full liabilities. Void where prohibited. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. You must be present to win. You need not be present to win. Your canceled check is your receipt. Your mileage may vary.

P.S. So sue me. My suer can kick your suer's butt.

And never forget: TANSTAAFL.

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